Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
Randomize
