ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
I could have mohawked her pubes.
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
