Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
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