I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
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