What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
Randomize
