I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
Randomize
