Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
Randomize
