Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
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