He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
