Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
there is puke in my bra ... again
Randomize
