I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
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