I wannas sexs uuuuu
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
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