My friends, they love my intelligence
I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
Randomize
