Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
