Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
Randomize
