How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
Randomize
