38 yer olds are good kisserssss
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
Randomize
