Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
Randomize
