how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
Randomize
