Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
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