Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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