I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
Randomize
