If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
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