:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize