Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
Randomize
