You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
Randomize
