she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
Randomize
