if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
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