so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Randomize
