..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
i need to put some appletini on your dick
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
