I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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