shes about as inviting as chlamydia
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
She's like a pop up book from hell.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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