Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
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