why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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