you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Randomize
