i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
Randomize
