he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
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