I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
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