I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
Randomize
