she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Randomize
