someone get that fucking seahorse.
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
Randomize