Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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