It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
