yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
You peed on a flamingo?!?
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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