I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Randomize
