I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
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