so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
Randomize
