shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
Randomize
