Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
Randomize
