WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
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