So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
Randomize
