She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
Randomize