i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
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