she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
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