the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
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