My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize
