physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
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