Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
Randomize
