So called my VP's house on Sunday drunk and told him that if he didn't hire me for the new position I would skull fuck his wife. They asked me to go home today. Thanks again Vodka
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
Randomize
