Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
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