omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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